I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
