we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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