Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize