Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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