Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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