Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
