Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
