That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
