She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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