I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she smelled like a LAN party
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
