I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
