It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
