apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
