its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Randomize
