Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
