How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
