STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
