I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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