if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
