brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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