Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
