I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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