She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
