Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
