Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I smell like Dick and happiness
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
