My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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