clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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