Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
