You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just forgot I was standing up.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
