If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He did a backflip because drugs
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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