watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
