I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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