perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We left the knife in your bed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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