I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize