did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i can't believe i had my finger in that
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
two words...techno handjob
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
