I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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