i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
