I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
