Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
