I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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