I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
