oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize