Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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