Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
