How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
