New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Damn victory sex feels great
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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