So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My pussy is not your playground.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
