yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
