Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
this hospital has no fireball
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
