I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
