Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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