He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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