suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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