are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
