peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
