this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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