I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
FUCK WHALES
that is very illegal...i love you.
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