Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
