sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Every concussion has its silver lining
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
