I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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