I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
