so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
only you would photoshop your dick
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Less talking, more tequila
We talked him into tasing himself.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
