i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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